its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
COCAINE IS GR8
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
