I want to have your abortion
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
