dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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