No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
