Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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