i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
