peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
