I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
