I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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