Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
