Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
