so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
