she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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