How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
