so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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