I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Randomize
