Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Everyone says I win the strip club
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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