We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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