Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
