From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
