While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Randomize
