this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
this will be a night to untag.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
