I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
