I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
