I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
