You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
