i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
We need to feng shui this bitch.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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