Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
