Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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