you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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