Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
