The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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