I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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