I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Who did Billy Mays play for?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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