I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
