We're like a lot better than the average bears
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Randomize
