Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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