I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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