let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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