Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
