I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
