Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
i believe in u and ur pee
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
