She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
