dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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