Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
