so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
