I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
