If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
