So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
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