I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Everyone says I win the strip club
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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