please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
