Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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