Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
