nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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